Category Archives: Just Chat

One Year Later

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Second Chances

One year later we are in a much better place in our lives.  I call it “thriving after surviving” and I have used that phrase in my personal blog, which sadly I have not written for in quite a while.  I also use it in my Tuesday night Facebook Live segments at 7:30PM (shameless plug I know).  I call these segments “Thrive”.

I intend to repurpose blogs I have written and talk about these stories, I plan to talk about people I interview with my new podcast “They Dig Deeper” where people share their stories on doing good things without thinking about them, and yes, I will also bring my book on board eventually, just not today.

This is the year I looked back at all the times Larry and I were just expected to do what was asked of us and we did these things to keep the peace.

While Larry was in the hospital I listened to the concerns his kids had regarding how they feel about certain things their dad does or doesn’t do.  I listened, I took their concerns back to Larry and we discussed everything.  Newsflash, Larry is not really going to change that much, he is whom he is.  I throw little reminders at him from time to time but it is not my “job” to get him to do what other people expect.  In fact, when you want change, you need to be a part of that change.  It is not a one-way street.

Change is often inspired because something in your life is hurting you much like ill-fitting shoes pinch your feet.  Change also happens when you realize how old you are in actual years and think of all the things you still would like to do but time is not really on your side.  On year later we see this very clearly.

The latter hit us as Larry recovered from his open-heart surgery and his emergency exploratory thoracic surgery within hours.  We almost lost each other.

Lesson learned through all of this was that we truly only have each other and if we intend to make loving memories we have a second chance to do that.  We are moving forward with gratitude and appreciation of the fact that we have been blessed with another chance and we will take advantage of all that life has given us.  One year later our hearts are full.

What about devastating crises?  What if I had lost Larry?  I cannot answer what I would have done because it did not happen, yet life crises happen to all of us and unfortunately some do come with irreversible sad or tragic endings.  Can we thrive after these crises happen?  It depends on what lies inside of us.  Things will never be the same again and in times like this we may not make it through on our own.  There is no shame in asking for help.  I have been there, in fact I was there as recently as a year ago when I did some life counseling to understand some baggage I was carrying all these years.

Crises we survive and then move on to thrive afterwards often come with people making positive changes in their lives.  Whatever your higher power is, when you come face to face with what happened and are still standing above ground chances are you will make changes.

Do we regress?  You betcha we do, however with practice regaining your new direction in life is easy because you will feel that pinch again.  It is up to you whether you will kick off those shoes or keep wearing them thinking they will stretch and stop pinching, they won’t.

One year later this feels so good:

Kicking those pinching shoes off in life will feel so good.

 

 

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Oh No 4 People Unsubscribed

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Oh no, 4 people unsubscribed to my newsletter after my last post.  I expected that (giggle).  I truly did.  I am tired of being “politically correct” although I wasn’t even talking politics.  I leave that argument for Facebook so I can piss people off there. (Just kidding I don’t flame anyone).

I have a podcast show – many of you know that.  It is called “The Crazy Marketing Ladies Show.”  Right now I am the only lady (sometimes) and it’s all good.  There will be more ladies eventually.  However I have been bad.  I haven’t recorded a show in a month, and I need to change my tune.  It is time to get behind the microphone again.  My show is under 20 minutes long, it is a drive time, work out time, nurse the baby time, show.

I don’t like long shows (sorry Dan Gilbert).  Dan has really long shows but then again he isn’t doing them weekly.

Me, I need to hop back on the podcast train and talk about being crazy, marketing, life, and whatever floats my boat that day.

This is my current FB timeline cover – I designed it.

Your life is a business.  My life is a business.  This is why I decided to go out on a limb and discuss how marketing is everything about you.  It isn’t just your mom and pop store, or your entrepreneurial start up, or your online eCommerce gig.  You are your business.  Your life is a business.  Your business is your life.  Get it?

Now you are saying to yourself, “what the hell is she talking about?”

I will tell you – here comes my secret theory.  Someone asked me if I ever take time off.  Of course I do, but my brain doesn’t.  Does yours?  When you are a creative person your brain is bombarded by all your senses all the time.  A certain scent can give you an idea.  A song can tickle your creative piano keys.  Something spicy can get your taste buds moving to another time you had spicy food in another city, 1/2 way around the world with a lover you no longer speak to any longer.  Then there is touch, I will leave that one to your imagination.

Brains don’t take vacations and ideas can come to you at the most interesting times.  Example; when I decided to change the name of my business from Social Butterfly Media Marketing to Butterfly Boom Productions I was sitting on the tram in Las Vegas riding over to the National Association of Broadcasting conference and it just hit me.

I bought that domain so fast my iPhone almost blew up.

Let me tell you something about ideas.  If you have what you think is a great idea, act on it now.  Chances are pretty darn good your idea has also landed in someone else’s brain and they might run with it as soon as it does and your idea now belongs to them.

(Darn this blog is good enough to be this week’s podcast show!)

I know you still are not sure what I am talking about.  Let me try again.

I have had my podcast for 3 seasons.  It has gone every which way but loose and I wanted to tighten it down.  I didn’t just want to talk about marketing ideas for your business because then I am one more marketing thought leader (yes I can call myself that) in a sea of thought leaders and I wanted to differentiate myself.

It took me a while but then I realized marketing isn’t just about your business.  It is about you, your life and your business (as I said above) is in your life.

I plan to be crazy enough to talk about marketing everything.  I believe this will heighten your awareness and open your mind to many over-the-top ideas that you will be encouraged to run with not sit on forever.

Got that?  I am hoping someone listening this week or reading this will be brave enough to share how a successful idea came to them.  I am willing to bet it wasn’t while they were sitting at a computer doing research, the research comes after the idea.

Thanks All and have a crazy week of ideas and creativity.

All my best,

Carole

I created a podcast show for marketing tips – it is now changing to include marketing your life.

 

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Happy Second Week of January 2017

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Cheers, and happy second week of January, 2017!  On one of my to-do lists is a memo to blog more frequently and send it out through my newsletter.  Working on that now.

There are a lot more things on my to-do lists and yes I have more than one to-do list.  Sounds crazy right, but it works for me.  I have 2 legal pads, one is on my main desk, the second one goes with me everywhere I go, and then to top it all off I have a written schedule and a white board hanging in my podcast studio.  I write everything down, I don’t use my device, I write it all down.

Last year I had 8 speaking engagements.  4 were really good-sized events, the other 4 were local meetings and just as important to me.  I like doing them, but to be totally honest I have so many wonderful things I am working on that prepping a speaking engagement falls to the bottom of my list this year.  However the cool thing that happened a year ago  is that I stated and put into writing that I would have no less than 5 speaking engagements last January for 2016 and I got 8.  Putting things out into the universe is magical.  Things happen when you do this.

Could I have 10 million dollars please?

OK the chances of that happening are slim but my husband does play the lottery when the pot gets big, so you never know, right?

This year I am putting out to the universe that I intend to be planning a huge event in 2018 and that the plans will start by the end of 2017.

I don’t make resolutions – instead I write a monthly plan and I put it on social media. Take February, 2017 for example; I said I would have 2 new clients that month (they are already on board and no I did not know this in advance of posting.)

I have something for every month from launching my new website http://workingwomenworld.com to starting to invite guest bloggers, start webinars, launch an audio podcast there, launch a video podcast there, and more.  Then I threw in planning a Christmas trip to the old world starting in Prague and ending in Interlaken.  I also told the universe I will be in California in August to do some interviewing and meet with some very interesting thought leaders.

There are other things on my monthly goal list but you get the idea.

In the middle of all this on New Years Day we were coming home from a fabulous fun brunch with friends.  As we drove past a new housing development I was suddenly taken back to my beginnings in real estate here in Florida when I was a buyer’s agent selling only new construction.  Just because I do not have enough on my plate I looked at Larry and said “I want to be VP of the New Homes Division of Castle Dream Real Estate, LLC.”  He did not have a new homes division but he liked the idea and now I am just that.

People ask me how I do everything that I do and I am going to share my secret right here, right now.  I work in batches.  On Mondays I prep all my client work for the week.  Tuesdays are my research days.  I have a list of things I need to learn and that is my day for that (including French lessons).  Wednesday is podcasting – all day everything is all about podcasting.  Thursdays I am VP of the New Homes Division and Fridays is Working Women World all day.

Have you read “The One Thing: the Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results” by Gary Keller and Jay Pappasan?  I couldn’t wrap my head around the concept as I read the book, so I asked a friend who works with Keller Williams and knows both men how to do one thing and only one thing.  When we were done talking I created my own version.  I do one thing a day, I batch work on one thing every work day and believe me it works.

While it may not be what Gary and Jay had in mind, it works for me.

The only day my phone is off is podcast day.  No interruptions that day.  The rest of the week I glance at it and decide if I need to take the interruption.

Weekends are mine.  Saturday I batch cook.  I make big meals and freeze them.  I work around the house, in the yard, or we shop.  Sundays I read books and catch up on some of my favorite television shows which usually are PBS shows.  Yes, I occasionally do some work on weekends but only if/when necessary.

Personal appointments are made at 4PM Mondays, Tuesdays or Thursdays.

Do things get screwed up?  Sure they do, and I just figure out what I can skip or do on the weekend and lose no sleep over it all.

Wine helps.

I highly recommend batching your work, I swear by it and sometimes I swear at it.

There you have it, my secret, my goals, my joy in what I do.

Happy 2017 and please feel free to share with me what you do and how you do it.

I am easy to reach carole@carolesanek.com

Thank you so much.

 

 

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Why I Love the Deep South Way of Doing Things

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complete with Southern hospitality.

complete with Southern hospitality.

Why I love the deep South way of doing things starts with their manners.  That is not to say that they all have perfect manners, but I am willing to bet my cheese grits that most do.

I just spent about 48 hours in Mobile, Alabama where one of my co-hosts on http://thecrazymarketingladiesshow.com and I spoke about a program she is a certified advisor in, Fascinate.   Yes, Robyn Sayles is a certified fascinate advisor, and I am the guinea pig who used the program and my business first doubled, than tripled.

Prior to speaking and being on Facebook Live though we had an adventure.  There was the “OMG why is there no interstate up the west coast of Florida” moment.  This was followed by the “OMG the car made a funny thunk noise and wouldn’t start after we stopped at a rest stop” moment.  Next came the “Holy (insert every curse word you know) when the car carrier truck hit his brakes and started swerving all over I-10 in the rainstorm” moment.  After that came the “We don’t do that at WalMart automotive” moment.  There were more moments but we finally arrived unharmed at our destination.

From the moment of arrival on we were in the capable hands of Johnny Gwin and his lovely wife Stacy Wellborn who took care of us with kindness.  They gave us beds to sleep in, fed us, chauffeured us, helped get my car fixed, introduced us, put me on the radio, showed us Mobile, opened doors, opened car doors, and we ended it all with speaking at their program Yard Talk in their co-working space.

Damn polite Southerners, and it was a wonderful visit.

I can’t say that there was a slower way of doing business, like people sometimes assume.  We were all tired to the point of exhaustion but then again part of that is due to two crAzy red heads turning their world upside down too.

Mobile, Alabama is a wonderful city filled with great hospitality and fantastic cheese grits – ask Robyn, that gal likes her grits.

Now you all go out and practice some of that Southern way of doing things – be nice and be polite.

Till next time when I come back in September, remember this “Come Fly With Me, I Think Outside the Net,”

http://carolesanek.com

 

 

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Listen Up! Your Lack of Listening Skills Is Showing

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Are You Really Really Listening

Are You Really Really Listening

Seriously, listen up!  You probably lack listening skills and I would be willing to take this a step further and say other people would say that to your face.  You don’t listen to what is being said.

When Did It Become Okay to Tune People Out?

It never became okay to tune people out.  You have no problem listening to music.  You can even sing along, so why the heck are you going through your day not listening to what people are truly saying to you?

My Post on Facebook Stirred a Good Conversation

This is my post:

I have been thinking about this a lot, people do not listen. They talk, in fact, they talk over you, around you, behind you, interruptedly, and more. They do not listen. If they listened there would be less need for anyone to be repetitive, less need for anyone to roll their eyes, less need for me to drink alcohol, well wait – scratch that. Why don’t people truly listen, you know listen to understand?

It started a nice back and forth and I asked those who participated if I could quote them.

My friend Claire was the first to post a response: “It takes effort. It’s work to be present, to be engaged. People don’t even give movies their full attention even when they’re paying $15 a ticket at the theater. They’re still taking their phones out and face booking. We’re lazy and inconsiderate.”

Then my friend Jeff chimed in with this:  “Most people, and I am guilty of this also, are thinking about their reply or what they want to say as the other person is speaking. totally an impediment to listening.”

Emmy gave me permission so I copied and pasted what she said here and her A point is about duality we are forming a response.

Emmy wrote: “There was a lot of discussion about this at the AZ convention this past week. Why don’t we listen? Because A., like Jeff said, we’re too busy formulating our response B. We have a tendency to think that what we need/want to say is more important than what the other person is saying. We HAVE to get our point/opinion across.

It’s a true skill that less and less people are working on.”

Then someone I really have met face to face Lillian offered this:  “Communication, in general, can be difficult. Clarity is not easily attained. So, a person might think they are being clear and are expecting a clear, concise response but the person responding may not have clarity on the initial question,problem, statement etc. We all think we are being very clear when we speak but we’re often not clear at all. I give credit to people that continue the dialogue, ask more questions, clear up misconceptions and take time from their hectic, busy day to communicate, even if it takes a while to achieve clarity. Then, I’m mostly Italian and from New Jersey. LOL. We do whatever it takes to get the job done.”

Crystal offered up her thoughts: “My grandfather taught me what divine wisdom really meant. The reason we have two ears & one mouth is because we should be listening to others twice as much as we talk to them.”

Theresa jumped in with a comment about alcohol referencing my need for it when I get exasperated with people who do not listen.

Sherri from Stuart, FL left this response: “Active Listening is an art lost to most people. They are so busy thinking about what they want to say that they don’t truly HEAR what is being said. While it is true that some people fail to articulate clearly what they are trying to get across, I believe failing to actively listen and pay attention is the problem in the majority of communication.”

All very good points and while I know I am just as guilty as the next person I really do work hard to listen well.  Many times rather than formulating a response, I will repeat what someone just said to me.  It clarifies the communication and also proves I was truly listening.

We need to slow down and show our listening skills more.  We have possibly buried them, but we can resurrect them and become a super-star listener.

How do you feel about this discussion?

Listen Up!  You could be missing something that is very important, listen up.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

To get in touch with me send me an email to:

carole@carolesanek.com

I removed the ability to comment on my websites on the advice of several developer friends I know well after a mean nasty person managed to get into one of my sites, insert a plugin and then taunt me by posting a guest blog set to publish 10 days later.  Spammy comments and plugins are two ways people can get into your sites.  Please feel free to send me an email, I do answer.  Or opt in here and you will always get my latest thoughts.  There is a floating optin bouncing around –and thanks all.

 

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Focus! Focus! Focus! I Call Bullshit on Focus!

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Seriously, I call bullshit on focus especially if you are a creative spirit like me.  Let’s think about this here.  I believe that focus is the main issue behind writer’s block.  Think of every image you have ever seen when someone is experiencing writer’s block and what are they doing?  They are in a room with no windows, in front of a typewriter (years ago) or a computer (now) and the look on their faces is of sheer terror because they are stuck.  Their brain has died.  Nothing is being transmitted from their neurons to their nerve pathways that get their fingers typing.  Where is their focus now, it’s obliterated by frustration.

If there is such a thing as reincarnation then this is me 150 years ago.

If there is such a thing as reincarnation then this is me 150 years ago.

I call bullshit on focus.

I recently started a podcast show category called “Less Than 5” and I quickly give my feelings, share advice, talk, ramble, whatever in less than 5 minutes and it is knocking my show stats out of the park.  The first two weeks I felt like a blithering idiot.  Who would ever want to listen to what I have to say?  And where was I going to get new topics?

Fortunately I have been bombarded with a plethora of different topics, heck I just have to turn on the TV and a topic shows up.  I just let it in.

Why I’m calling bullshit on focus!

Last week I realized that some of the greatest people I have ever met is due to the fact that I lost focus and went in a different direction.  I was on a business cruise in November.  Business cruises come with a higher than normal cruise price tag.  Yet I found myself drawn to an art class that was being given across the hall from our meeting room.  I could smell the paint and that disturbed my focus and fired up my curiousity.

That distraction inspired me to start writing a book, and certainly not about marketing.  There are plenty of those written by bigger thought leaders than I am.  No, I am writing a book about happiness.  How did the smell of paint inspire me to write a book, you ask?  It didn’t.  We took a land excursion and we were at Dunn River Falls and that is where I met the artist.  We held hands at the base of the falls so we wouldn’t fall down as the water rushed past us.  We bonded creatively and spiritually.

Her art is beautiful, she is very creative, and we were meant to meet.  If I was always “in focus” I would not have met her, and that book idea would not have been born.

I get distracted easily, but sometimes I believe I am driven by an inner spirit to push focus aside and jump out of that intensity and land in the field of distraction where very exciting ideas happen.

There are people who should be in focus – I don’t call bullshit on doctors, accountants, attorneys, and people who practice in life with other’s lives.  I practice in life with other’s minds and emotions, and I can call bullshit on focus because doing this won’t hurt anyone.

My parents called me “flighty”.  My teachers wrote not so nice comments about me in my report cards because I did not pay attention ALL the time.  I got so good at my talent of entering into the distracted zone that I could listen to two conversations at the same time and give appropriate answers or comments when called upon.

I highly encourage anyone with a creative mind to allow distractions to happen.  Get up and move away from what you are working on and forget about it while you allow your senses to take flight and you begin to explore the world around you.  This is where creation will start and when you come back to what you are working on your mind/ brain will be over-flowing with new ideas.  Write them down quickly, don’t lose them.

Think of it as focus recess and go out there and play.

 

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Trusting Your Inner Voice

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Trusting your inner voice isn’t easy for many people because at times that pain-in-the-butt little voice comes up with ideas that just sound too bizarre.  I call these the voices from left field.  I listen to them, but then I have been called bizarre at times.

I usually jump in with both feet when my inner voice comes up with something, and fortunately, I must have a string of guardian angels that have my back because I land on my feet every time.

You see I trust my inner voice and that is why I land on my feet while others belly flop instead.

I have come to rely on my inner voice so much that even when it might throw me a curve ball instead of a home run idea, I still can crawl into bed and sleep soundly. I don’t ruminate over things because I learned to trust my inner voice.

By now isn’t it time to learn to trust your inner voice?  You already have everything you need inside yourself.  That same inner voice has guided you through things in the past, right?  So when it comes pouncing in like a kitten at play with an idea that is so far out of the way you normally think, what the heck are you telling it to shut up for, when it might be the best idea ever?

Next time try to listen, then think it through.  Put it on paper, have faith, learn to start to trust, because let me tell you this; landing on your feet beats a belly flop every time.

Cute kitten right?

Kitten Pounce

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Filter? Yes or No? Do You Have a Filter?

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Filter? Yes or no? Do you have a filter?  Or do you just put together a bunch of words that you could possibly regret later and slap them up, sit back and smoke a cigarette?  Of course you don’t smoke a cigarette, the thought just seemed to fit.

Of all the social media platforms Facebook gives us an opportunity to filter our thoughts.  We can create lists and we can use these lists to distribute our updates to people whom we want to reach.

Recently someone told me I should filter my Facebook thoughts because “I am in business and people might not appreciate my updates.”

Really?

First of all most of my FB posts are delivered by me using lists.  Friends see the real Carole, other people see a more professional Carole,   I have a breast cancer list, guess what they see.  I have a list of people who see exciting ideas I have, I have a list of people who see my family pictures (family), I have a list for real estate because I still work in that field, I have a list that excludes clients, and a helluva lot more lists.  I even have a list for the county I live in, for my high school, and my favorite list is where I share secrets and that list is for true, loyal friends.

I do take extra steps to filter my thoughts by using FB lists and yes if you are a “fringe friend” meaning you are living on the edge with me, you don’t see everything I post because you do not deserve to see it.  You did not earn the right to see what I share with those closest to me.  The “problem” with social media is that people just post without thinking.

I like using lists and it only takes me 15 seconds to make a choice when I post on FB.  So shut the heck up about me needing to use a filter.  Guess who is now on a different list?

I always think when people tell you that you need a filter that they believe your “finger pointing” post was about them.  Let those with a guilty conscience raise your hand.

I realize not everyone uses lists so yes I would say some people need to filter their thoughts more often because mean and ugly doesn’t win friends and it could hurt your business.

I don’t post anything political (although I did share a great Donald Trump meme).  I don’t fight with people regarding their beliefs.  Hate is everywhere and I avoid it..

I think about every post.  Obviously many people don’t know how to use a filter, they need to zip their mouths and try using distribution lists.

I do filter my updates.  Do you?

Zip it or Use a Distribution List on Facebook.

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Launching A Successful Business

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Launching a successful business is your dream right?  You want to be your own boss.  You have an entrepreneurial spirit.  You work well alone.  You have some money in the bank.

Whatever – if you want to launch a successful business here are some tips for doing that.

  • Pick a name that will live longer than you will.  What if your business becomes publicly traded some day?  You need a great name.
  • Now that you have the idea you have to have a plan.  If you need capital you seriously need a plan.  The SBA offers a lot of help on their site. www.sba.com
  • Take some courses in your dream – and if what you want to do involves accreditation – get it.  That certificate on the wall is extremely important.  If you need a license, get that.  Do NOT fake it till you make it.  That’s BS and will not work – you will be exposed and risk losing all you worked for too.
  • Know your competition.  Why do you think Lowes builds near Home Depot, or Walgreens near CVS?  Research shows that inter-connected industries all do better when clustered together.
  • Have you considered Kickstarter?  Do you know women meet their goals there better then men do according to a study from the University of Pennsylvania.

By all means you should follow your dreams of launching a business.  Don’t spin your wheels, don’t waste time.  Get assistance and advice and go for it.

Follow your dreams - do it!

Follow your dreams – do it!

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Mind Mapping, Who Me?

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Mind mapping, who me?  That was my reply to my fabulous massage therapist today – she is a holistic practitioner and a healer and so much more.  She suggested I try it and I did not have the heart to say I had tried it before.

On the drive home I thought hard about my last trip down the highway of mind mapping and I just remember I gave up.  I have an “oh look a squirrel” brain so when I tried it I felt I would need a white board bigger than my house.

Mind mapping requires you to make a diagram to visually organize information.  I visualize squirrels.  It did not work well for me.

 

All day every day I am distracted by squirrels.

All day every day I am distracted by squirrels.

My fabulous massage therapist told me to Google Tony Buzan and follow his directions – she swears I can do it.

This is what Buzan says to do and he left out paper or a white board:

  1. Start in the center with an image of the topic, using at least 3 colors.
  2. Use images, symbols, codes, and dimensions throughout your mind map.
  3. Select key words and print using upper or lower case letters.
  4. Each word/image is best alone and sitting on its own line.
  5. The lines should be connected starting from the central image.  The lines become thinner as they radiate out from the center.
  6. Make the lines the same length as the word/image they support.
  7. Use multiple colors throughout the mind map, for visual stimulation and also for encoding or grouping.
  8. Develop your own personal style of mind mapping.
  9. Use emphasis and show associations in your mind map.
  10. Keep the mind map clear by using radial hierarchy or outlines to embrace your branches.

I keep seeing squirrels so I dug deeper and came up with this great link:

http://lifehacker.com/how-to-use-mind-maps-to-unleash-your-brains-creativity-1348869811

I will try it – I feel it might give me some clarity with some issues I need to put to rest.  Coming from “BIG PHARMA” sales though I know all about giving fair balance.  I looked for opinions that were not favorable to doing a mindmap.  I did not exactly find a big “Don’t Mind Map” article, I did find this:

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/5-reasons-stop-mind-mapping-immediately.html

This article doesn’t say to not mindmap, it says when to stop.
I do intend to study it more because in business I think mindmapping can definitively set all of us on the right path if do it as Buzan suggests.  Being married to an anal engineer I am going to have him do one right along side me – love will keep us together.

Have you ever done a mind map?

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